The Good, The Bad and The Ugly quotes help cement the iconic Spaghetti Western in cinema history. It is not only one of the best Westerns ever made, but it also ranks highly in many “Greatest Movies Of All Time” lists — and for good reason. Director Sergio Leone created an everlasting masterpiece in this final installment of the Dollars Trilogy. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly’s script is terse, but it also includes quite a few great lines of dialogue, ranging from the humorous to the profound.
Credit has to be given to the screenplay team of Luciano Vincenzoni, Sergio Donati, and Furio Scapelli. The starring duo of Clint Eastwood (Blondie aka The Good) and Eli Wallach (Tuco aka The Ugly) also outdid themselves with their deliveries as the juiciest quotes are from conversations between these two. The dialogue and chemistry between the central characters are part of what made the filmone of the best Spaghetti Westerns ever, and is evident in the many great The Good, The Bad and the Ugly quotes.
20
“Hey, Blond! You Know What You Are? Just A Dirty Son-Of-A-B-!”
Tuco
Tuco may not be an honorable character, but Eli Wallach’s hilarious performance makes him strangely likable. Unlike the genuinely evil Angel Eyes, the audience doesn’t really want to see Tuco die in the end, but that doesn’t mean they want to see him win either. That is part of what makes The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly’s ending so satisfying as Blondie shoots down Angel Eyes, but leaves Tuco alive. As he heads out with the entire fortune they found, Tuco yells after him with this memorable curse, showing that he is still the despicable character in the end and will continue living as a scoundrel looking for his own good fortune.
19
“Two Hundred Thousand Dollars Is A Lot of Money. We’re Gonna Have To Earn It.”
Blondie
Along with being a masterpiece of the Western genre, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly is a thrilling treasure hunt movie. The premise of three characters going after the same hidden fortune is a brilliantly simple setup for the adventure. This quote from Blondie also shows the audience that it is not going to be an easy journey. It helps to cement that Blondie was the right man out of the three to get the treasure as he is the only one who doesn’t think he is owed the treasure by simply knowing about it. He will risk his life yet not be dishonorable in order to come away a rich man.
18
“I Never Hurt Anybody.”
Tuco
Apart from spoof movies like Blazing Saddles, the Western genre is not typically known for providing big laughs. With stoic heroes, dastardly villains, and dangerous scenarios, there are few moments of levity. While The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly is certainly not a comedy, there are some very funny moments, most involving Tuco. One of the biggest laughs in the movie comes as Tuco stands on the gallows with a noose around his neck. He proclaims that he is not a bad person and never hurt anyone only for the officer to proceed in giving a hilariously long list of Tuco’s crimes.
17
“I’ll Keep The Money And You Can Have The Rope.”
Blondie
While Blondie is “the Good” out of the three main characters in the movie, he is more of an anti-hero than a real hero. When the audience meets him, he is pulling off a scheme with Tuco in which he turns Tuco over to authorities, collects the bounty, then frees Tuco at the last minute to do it again in a new town. While that alone is pretty dishonest, Blondie also decides to unceremoniously end his partnership with Tuco. Blondie tells him he’s keeping the money while Tuco can keep the ropes that his hands are tied with. It is a merciless moment for the hero of the story but makes him more likable.
16
“I’ve Never Seen So Many Men Wasted So Badly.”
Blondie
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly is also a Civil War movie as the adventure takes place during the American war with Blondie and Tuco coming across a bloody battle in process. The Western is mostly content simply being an entertaining genre movie, but this is the point in the movie when there is some commentary. Even the man of few words, Blondie, comments on the senselessness of the war. This is a man who has killed and lived a life surrounded by violence but is appalled at the death he sees in battle.
15
“One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six. Six. Perfect Number.”
Blondie
Blondie wasn’t afraid to intimidate his opponents with a little arrogant, chest-puffing bravado, but he also did it with style. When facing down Angel Eyes and his men, Blondie begins counting them out in this cool-headed way. When Angel Eyes asks him why he doesn’t think three is the perfect number, Blondie replies “Mmmm, yeah, but I’ve got six more bullets in my gun.” Eastwood’s ice-cold delivery helps to paint the picture of a truly memorable Western movie hero.
14
“You Never Had A Rope Around Your Neck. Well, I’m Going To Tell You Something. When That Rope Starts To Pull Tight, You Can Feel The Devil Bite Your Ass!”
Tuco
Though not a deep thinker, there’s some truth to this observation from Tuco, which has a similar meaning to the common phrase “There are no atheists in foxholes.” Tuco mutters this quote to describe what it feels like right before a hanging. In many respects, the psychological impact of knowing one is moments away from dying such an unpleasant death would be enough to make anybody sit up and take notice. Perhaps this statement is truer than people think.
13
“Whoever Has The Most Liquor To Get The Soldiers Drunk And Send Them To Be Slaughtered – He’s The Winner.”
Union General
When coming across the Civil War battle, Blondie and Tuco meet a Union General who seems to be as disillusioned with the war as they are. With a feeling of hopelessness, he offers this brutally honest take on the soldiers and their “liquid courage.” The conversation goes on to say that both sides are partaking of the spirits in order to muster up a bit of combat bravado. This quote sums up The Good, the Bad and the Ugly’s cynical portrayal of the Civil War and the generally dark nature of Sergio Leone’s “Dollars” trilogy.
12
“I’ll Tell You One Thing, Blondie. If I Knew That My Last Hour Had Come, I Swear, In My Place… In Your Place I Would Do The Same Thing. I Would Tell About The Gold. Yes, Yes, I Would.”
Tuco
Tuco wasn’t above using any tactic to get what he wanted, including faking sympathy and compassion. In an attempt to get a dehydrated Blondie to reveal the location of the grave containing a cache of gold, he tried using a mixture of mercy and logic in order to sway him. Hilariously, despite leading Blondie to his death, Tuco insists to his former colleague that he would tell him where the treasure was if their circumstances were reversed. It is a hilarious look and the depths Tuco will sink to as well as his lack of self-awareness with how he is perceived.
11
“Every Gun Makes Its Own Tune.”
Blondie
Clint Eastwood helped to establish himself as a true Western icon over the years and it is memorable lines like this that helped build that legacy. Blondie utters these words, making it well known that this is a man who knows his gun intimately. This quote is in direct reference to the fact that no two guns are identical, or alike, despite their model. Each has its own history and story to tell. There is a sense that Blondie has heard many guns fire in his life and, despite the violence they bring, he can see the music in them.
10
“Hey, Amigo! You Know You Have A Face Beautiful Enough To Be Worth Two Thousand Dollars?”
Tuco
When a couple of bounty hunters locate Tuco, one of them makes fun of his ugly face. Blondie then appears and casually lets them know that he won’t let them collect the bounty. The next minute, he guns them down, causing Tuco to make reference to Blondie’s own bounty with a hint of jealousy. Though they find themselves at odds for most of the movie, there is an undeniable connection between Blondie and Tuco, making them an odd-ball pair who would have been fun to follow on adventures outside of this one.
9
“When You Have To Shoot, Shoot. Don’t Talk.”
Tuco
Tuco is not as slick as Blondie or Angel Eyes as his temper can often cause him to act impulsively, but this moment shows that there is a reason he has managed to stay alive this long in the Wild West. A man looking for revenge tracks Tuco and finds him relaxing in a bathtub. He mistakenly thinks Tuco is helpless, and expounds at length about his plan for revenge. However, he isn’t aware that Tuco is holding a gun under the water. After killing the man, Tuco offers him some posthumous advice about seizing the moment and not talking too much.
8
“I Almost Forgot… He Gave Me 1000 Dollars. I Think His Idea Was That I Kill You.”
Angel Eyes
In one of the most interesting scenes in The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly, Angel Eyes reports to Baker, an old man who paid him $500 to murder another man. Unfortunately for Baker, Angel Eyes was given $1000 by the man he killed. He goes on to state that when he is paid, he always gets the job done, killing Baker as well. Though Blondie and Tuco get most of the screen time, this is a brilliant introduction for Angel Eyes that makes him a true Western villain to be feared while also carrying a twisted code he abides by.
7
“God’s Not On Our Side Because He Hates Idiots, Also.”
Blondie
While searching for the hidden gold, Tuco tells Blondie that they will be successful in their endeavor because God is on their side. However, Blondie shuts him down by stating that God doesn’t like idiots. It is another example of what makes Tuco such a fun character. Not only does he think that he is the type of person who deserves God’s help in finding buried treasure, but he is also confident enough to suggest he is not an idiot. Of course, Blondie likes to take any opportunity he can to prove him wrong on that account.
6
“People With Ropes Around Their Necks Don’t Always Hang.”
Angel Eyes
Angel Eyes says this in reference to the fact that bandits that have been sentenced to hang don’t usually end up hanging. They are always saved by bounty hunters so that the reward money can be increased. Angel Eyes is aware of this very merry-go-round money-making scheme that Blondie and Tuco are engaged in. Angel Eyes has been on his own for most of the movie at this point, but the suggestive quote shows that he is a man who is well-informed, knowing all about Blondie and Tuco’s scheme.
5
“If You Work For A Living, Why Do You Kill Yourself Working?”
Tuco
It is clear that Tuco is a man who enjoys the life of an outlaw, even if it is not always an easy road for him and it is filled with danger. However, quite cleverly, he suggests the alternative is just a more hard-working path to the grave. Tuco is talking to himself as he is plucking off a dead chicken’s feathers. He wonders why anyone would work so hard and put their own lives in danger. Instead of working hard to scrape a living by, Tuco engages in dangerous crime in an attempt to get rich quickly.
4
“You See In This World There’s Two Kinds Of People, My Friend – Those With Loaded Guns, And Those Who Dig. You Dig.”
Blondie
Clint Eastwood’s Blondie says this to Tuco after the two finally locate the Confederate gold at the cemetery. Tuco thought that there would be a division of labor between them but he was mistaken. Even though Tuco doesn’t like being ordered around by anyone, he reluctantly agrees. Throughout the movie, there are various references to the different kinds of people in the world, speaking to the simple world of the Old West. However, this final reference to the idea is the most succinct and important of them all as there are those in power and those without.
3
“The Next Town Is 70 Miles… If You Save Your Breath, I Feel a Man Like You Could Manage It.”
Blondie
It is hard to determine just what Blondie thinks of Tuco. After having enough of Tuco’s complaints, Blondie cuts ties with him and takes the bounty that they are supposed to share before riding away on his horse. He tells Tuco to save his breath and try walking 70 miles. It seems like a bitter betrayal and that Blondie is simply leaving Tuco to die. However, in the end, even after Tuco tried to kill him, Blondie lets him go once again. He clearly finds no guilt in leaving Tuco stranded but he also likes to give him a chance to survive.
2
“You May Run The Risks, My Friend, But I Do The Cutting. If We Cut Down My Percentage… Who knows? It Might Just Interfere With My Aim.”
Blondie
In a movie in which all of the characters are seeking their fortune, Tuco is the most greedy of them all. Continuing the scheme with Blondie, he demands a bigger cut of the bounty because he is the one who normally gets captured and placed on the hangman’s noose. However, Blondie uses his calm yet somewhat sinister rationale to suggest it is best for everyone if his cut stays healthy. Up until this point, Blondie has seemed like a laidback and cool-headed gunslinger but this subtle threat shows he’s a real danger as well.
1
“If You Miss You Better Miss Very Well. Whoever Double-Crosses Me And Leaves Me Alive Understands Nothing About Tuco. Nothing!”
Tuco
The brilliant thing about Tuco is that he always had very witty responses to everything he was told, which make up some of the best The Good, the Bad and the Ugly quotes. After Blondie suggests that he might intentionally miss his shot at the noose, Tuco issues a threat of his own. He tells Blondie to make sure he’s dead or else he’ll exert revenge. Interestingly, Blondie still manages to double-cross Tuco at the end of the movie by leaving him with a noose around his neck and no way to access his cut of the Confederate gold. Tuco’s egotistical words set up the punch of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly’s iconic ending.