Even though the axiom says, “Life imitates art far more than art imitates life,” in the case of Wilmer Valderrama, it turns out that art imitates life when it comes to his work. In his just-released memoir, An American Story: Everyone’s Invited, Wilmer makes it a point to focus on his 20-year work on behalf of the USO, for whom he now serves as a Global Ambassador.
At the time that he began paying his success forward by donating his time and energies to the armed forces through the USO, he had no idea that someday he would be asked to play a Naval investigative officer in the CBS hit series NCIS. But when the opportunity came, he was able to take the role of Special Agent Nick Torres and represent what he’d learned from the men and women he had met during his tours.
“When I started creating the book, I started reflecting on my work with the USO and traveling the world,” Wilmer tells Parade. “I really wanted to make a book about the many individuals that have made an imprint in my life, people that have taught me so much about service and about showing up for your country. So, the book really is a tribute to them, to the service, and what you can do for your country.”
An American Story also reflects on moments in his life with his family, specifically his parents and everything they gave up to relocate from Venezuela, where he was raised after being born in Miami, to California.
“I felt like it was exciting to pay tribute to not only their sacrifice but to say, ‘Hey, you gave us a shot at the American dream and it worked, and here we are,’” Wilmer says.
The Venezuelan immigrant who spoke no English when his parents enrolled him in Mulholland Middle School in Van Nuys, CA, and went onto TV stardom as Fez on That ’70s Show while he was in high school, also uses the book to show the positive side of immigration during this time of heated debates on the subject.
“Ultimately, this can be your entry point to understanding the mentality and the many ways in which immigrants pay it forward in order to be here in this country,” he says. “Because that’s the thing that we’re missing in the conversation, right? It’s like, ‘Oh, they’re here for whatever reason that’s advertised,’ but the truth is at the end of the day there is a lot of work that goes into individuals that come from anywhere in the world and start all over again — a lot of paying it forward and a lot of contribution to this country that sometimes is deleted from the conversation itself.”
During our conversation about An American Story: Everyone’s Invited, Wilmer shares why that particular title, how he survived in Hollywood and not getting typecast as Fez after the success of That ‘70s Show, and how he has stayed close to his family, so much so that his parents live on his estate.
You titled your book An American Story: Everyone’s Invited, what does that mean?
Well, I realized very quickly when I set out to make this book, it was ultimately a book to reflect on my time with the military and a sense of being the USO Global Ambassador and going around the world, visiting the troops and understanding the pay it forward, understanding what built unity on so many fronts, understanding a lot of the institution of the military, it seemed to me color free, and most importantly, when you wear the uniform, you fight for the same virtue and values that the American flag is about. The one flag that you can wave together.
And in a time where there’s so much amplifying of our differences, I felt like I saw so much commonality. It was very evident as I came to this country, that there were so many things that people really could agree on, and I feel like we strayed away from it. I wanted to do a story that even though it’s an immigrant story, it’s still a story of perseverance and a story of giving yourself the grace to say that you have the space to make whatever you need happen because this country will do it back for you.
I realized that this American story ultimately became a story that I hope that everyone can feel is theirs as well. When you put in An American Story, you don’t want people to actually think about it as like, “Oh, it’s a one-sided story.” The truth is everyone’s invited to this story. Everyone should feel welcome to my humble history and see there’s something about this story that may call to you or hit the heartstrings. But I definitely feel that Everyone’s Invited felt like a story that I hope most people can really relate to.
This is a positive portrayal of an immigrant who has been successful in life. I thought, “This is a great way for you to get in on the conversation,” because it’s such a political hot button right now.
I’m so grateful you saw that, because that’s the point. The point is that we can have this conversation while still being thoughtful, while still being respectful to one another, and understanding that there’s more than meets the eye when it comes to the topic.
People tend to accentuate the negative instead of the positive, and there’s so much positive. Our country was built by immigrants.
So much positive and so many exchanges of love, culture, values that makes us all better people, you know? I’m walking around New York City right now, and it’s an incredible melting pot of beliefs and values and existence. That’s what’s beautiful about where we live, is that it’s a place where you can go around the world by just sitting at a park, just taking in the individuals that tell the stories of who they are here. And that’s the point, right? When you villainize or fictionalize the why we’re here, that’s when we stray away from the celebration of what we have actually been able to do together.
You found your first major success with That ‘70s Show, how hard was the transition after to get your next non-Fez job? Because when actors that have a role that puts them in a spotlight, and as specific as Fez was, a lot of them don’t ever get another job.
Very true. In the book, I walk you through what had to happen in order for me to be afforded a foot in the door, you know? What happens is you have to almost reinvent yourself, because no matter how much popularity has gathered around your name, at the end of the day you have to now also now serve a different dish. You can’t just have a menu that has one entrée, you know?
You have to continue to build on the things that you can offer, and not just the fans but the industry, and how you can be an asset to the many things that are produced, so you can have some type of runway to your career, right? The thing that was really unique for me is that at that time, there weren’t a lot of me’s on TV, and I say me’s because it doesn’t matter what color the me is, they have to go through a transition phase to find what’s next.
And for me, particularly and singularly for me, I would say that I had to go in and show everybody that I was more than Fez, right? And that I didn’t sound like that character, that I didn’t really look like that or dress like that, even though you probably thought, “No, this guy’s definitely real,” you know?
So, the idea was that I went to all these meetings and met with the producers, writers, directors, studio heads and said, “Hey, man, I want to the opportunity to show more.” Occasionally along the way you, if you preach this long enough, you have individuals that will eventually say, “Okay, show me.” And then at that point, that’s when you have to either sink or swim, right?
You have to swing for the fences in making sure that your career does not become based on the success of your last project. I think that people often ask me, “What advice would you give anyone that’s starting out?” I would say, “Don’t put so much emphasis on what is the show and what is the movie.” Sure, it is nice to have hits and it’s nice to have shows that become critically acclaimed, but the truth is, your best calling card, your best business card becomes what you leave on the screen. So, no matter what the show ends up being or the movie is, you want people to look at that screen and be like, “Whoa, you know who is pretty good?” Or “You know who actually surprised me? So and so, this guy.” That is what paves the road for the next job.
In your dedication, you credit your sisters with your high school diploma. Did they tutor you? Did they make sure you got your assignments in?
My sisters were more than invaluable. Besides the moral support and belief in me as silly as I was back then, my sisters were absolutely instrumental in me being able to get a diploma in high school. Because while I was shooting TV shows and projects during my high school years, they were able to bring my assignments home so I could do them and my tests, and then they were turning them back in and all that. That really made such a difference because I had promised my dad that I was going to get my high school diploma because that was the point to coming here to America to get an education. Without my sisters, I would never have had it.
One of the fans that you mention in the book told you that you were lucky and you felt, no, you’re not really lucky. But there’s this definition of luck that luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity, and I think from that standpoint, you were always prepared.
I think so. I knew that at one point that if I continued to dig, if I continued to actually move along in the things that I wanted to be as a young man, that at one point I was going to be given an opportunity to show it. And in that very moment, how much you rise to that occasion, and the idea for me was to have my engine so warm by the time it was time for me to race, that I could compete with everyone else. And then not only compete, but actually have a shot at the finish, right? That’s something that I felt really passionate about, I wanted to always stay ready.
I always wanted to be at arm’s length of success, because if it ever came to me, if success somehow gave me my chance to walk through that door, then I was not only going to make myself comfortable inside, but I was going to find a way to stay within the realm. But to your point, preparation is critical, right? Because if you’re ever given an opportunity, you want to make sure that they can trust you with the ball before you can win a championship.
You’re only 44, so there’s lots more to come. Will you maybe do a second book some day?
That’s a really good question. It was an interesting challenge to put this book together and to dig deep into my parents’ trajectory because this book is also a tribute to my family, my parents and their sacrifices The book is really about those very moments and instances that created a recipe for lots of possibilities. So, therefore, by the time I show up for myself, I was given an opportunity to live the dream, right?
That’s the recipe, but we’ll see what the next 10 years look like. If it’s worth doing a follow up, then maybe we do it. This book was never meant to be a memoir, it was meant to be a book of service, like I said. So, maybe there is room for a continuation of this memoir later.
I love the fact that you have your compound, where your mom has her own house and your dad lives there, too, and your fiancée Amanda Pacheco’s father.
He definitely has a room there. He works a lot, he’s always away, but anytime he doesn’t have to be away, he stays with us, and it’s beautiful. It’s a beautiful village that we have. And it’s amazing for my daughter [Nakano Oceana, 3]. It’s beautiful that they get to see her grow up. All of it was the perfect storm for me.
Wilmer Valderrama’s An American Story: Everyone’s Invited is available in English and Spanish in hardcover, eBook, and audiobook with Wilmer narrating.